Truth vs Reality

There are few things I know for sure, but here are a couple of things that you can bet the ranch on....cash in the mortgage and put it all on red....these are SURE things I tell you. Here goes:

(a) Your infant/toddler/child will ALWAYS get sick just after the doctor's office has closed up shop for the day and all the doctors have left the building. In fact, you will be on the phone trying to get them and they can probably hear the phone ringing as they laugh and lock the door.

(b) Your infant/toddler/child's temperature will never be higher than it is at 4:30 am and they will also always wait until said time to throw up/choke up/ spin head 180 degrees and spit up peas. You will then be forced to decide whether to join all the drug deal gone bad shooting victims at the hospital emergency room or wait another 3 1/2 hours to call the pediatrician.

(c) You will call the Dr. and they will want you to come in. You will drag your sick child and your cross-eyed self out the door without a shower, hoping that you managed to at least brush your teeth, only to realize that you didn't so the smashed piece of gum in the bottom of your purse will just have to do. You will tell the Dr. all of the horrible symptoms and frighteningly high fever your child has had for 24 hours, only to have them look at your child now doing cartwheels and singing Miss Pattycake songs and then check her temperature to find it's 98.6. They will look at the child's ears/throat/nose as you're secretly hoping (and this is warped I know) that they will find SOMETHING to prove you are not a delusional liar. In other words, once you are at the Dr.'s office the child will be have been cured. It's a miracle.

I took Jake and Will both to the doctor on Friday morning. They both got their finger pricked and Jake also got his flu shot. He was not too happy. For the rest of the day Jake kept saying

"Momma, I go to da doctor and dey hurt me."

It was so sad, but I knew it was for his own good. I told Bobby before Jakes goes to kindergarten and has to get more shots he is the lucky one who has been nominated to take him.

Bobby says, "um, I have to work that day."

Ok, but it is 2 1/2 years from now, I will have to work too.